It was 2011 and now its 2014.

I'm back to where i used to study.

But i'm not studying back.i missed this place.where i met new friends and experiencing a new enviroment.

Its an awesome enviroment actually better than the previous college i have been.

I lost my college life but these won't stop me from achieving the things that i really wanted.

What i wanna achieve?You'll find out soon enough :) 

In life,nothing comes easy,you need to pay the prize of hardship in order for you to understand and earn the worth of it.

You may sometimes get it easy,in the end you'll still have to pay the prize of hardship.

Yet,there'll always be hard times.We all wish to all the hardwork and dedication stop and enjoy its value,but then,that's not life.Life continues as so as experience,as long as you live work for it and live with it.

That is life!Live life to the fullest!

(I find it funny when people just use this word and don't understand the true meaning of its term.)

Yes,I am an ex-student of Sabah Institute of Arts and I took Diploma in Graphic Design.

Imagination and will is the key of succes!

Stay motivated!

Expression is everything,Impression is anything.

Lost.

I never felt how lost am i right now.

I really missed the moment being with someone.

I am married but then,after all we've been through,i am no longer hers. :(

I missed being an idiot and everything in a relationship :(

I no longer have the will to share with joy.

All those smiles and laughter shared.

Moments together.cuddles.texting wildly.

:(

I felt empty.hurt.lonely.

I'm not begging for anything but its just the way how i really feel right now.

Its really indescribable. :( 

Expression is everything,impression is anything.

Fats.muscle.beachbody :p

I cant sleep.seriously.and i just ate.

Screw my diet.hahhahahah.

Maintaining is sure a hard thing to do.but then you're gotta love the results.

Imagine shirtless on the beach with pure hard work of sixpack.muahahaha.

How awesome is that?its confident and male pride!aisehh mannnn!

Well that goes the same as girls too.Not gonna talk much about girls and they should know it cause they are very sensitive with it.

What happened today,won't stop me for the next day.

Gotta push and train hard.

Its now part of my life.fitness is always everybody's life.

Yet some of them just don't work for it and not into it.

Its them not me.

Make time and make your future!

:( i wish.

No Turning Back.

Dear Love,

I'm sorry for what I have done and everything for I could not satisfy you.
Hear me out please.If you choose that way,its a NO TURNING BACK.
Even if I do still love you,we can't get back like we used too.
I'm so sorry.I do meant every forgiveness I gave you.But then,when its end its ended.
I wish you would reconsider everything for the sake of our daughter.
I'm fulfilling your own promises which you would not your daughter as in your position.
While we're still together lets just work things out.
Everything is not easy,then we must do it together.

I beg you.

 If you fall,I too have to fall.And that is the last time we work together. :(
Nobody want shits to happen.


Expression is everything.Impression is anything.

Betrayal.Excuses.

The time we spent,I know I have lost most days.But what about my days thinking of you?wondering what's future ahead?i think of everything about you.But then,you still choose to be gone in my life.why?i thought you've accepted my imperfections?weaknesses?and yet you couldn't even accept yourself.why divorce was the best option since we can just discuss as husband and wife?what were the things made you silent and could not talk out but then you're my wife you can just spit,throw,get mad,slap and everything you can just do everything on me 
BECAUSE I'M YOURS!

Why won't you get it?Marriage is not just couples.But then a responsibility to keep each other closely firm and solve things together even at its deepest worst time ever.

The reasons are obviously you're meeting another guy who you think is better than I do.What's better than a guy you just met for few months and a guy who understands your characteristics and accept everything who you are?and known you for 4 years.There's a HUGE difference there.

I'm so disappointed on your decisions.You break your own promises.We promise to each other we would firmly stay and solve things even shits happen.You shouldn't kept things/feelings yourself since we're married.Because there's nothing to hide among each other as husband and wife.

It is my fault for allowing things to happen like this and made you like this.But its your choice,because if you really love me,you would have stay and fight for it,
NOT LEAVING IT UNSOLVED.

If its really about only the two of us,why there's another guy?why would you protect him?cover up all his shits?asking me not to expose?because this matters only the two of us?since that guy is involved there's NO SUCH THING OF "ONLY TWO OF US".I REPEAT "NO SUCH THINGS".
if he's really your friend why hide it from me?why private all your messages?why live life alone so sudden?
Why would you take the risk to destroy the better future?Why choose to listen to him instead of me?There's a lot of WHYs.Yet,you choose too let all things go. 

I gave you a lot of options still you stick to your only option.So then,if you must let go,I might as well let all things go all my hope and perseverance on you,from love to hatred.All of me to you are wasted.You yourself who don't choose to fix things up.You would even risk the FUTURE LIFE of our DAUGHTER.You're being too SELFISH.

I'm tired of all your lies,unanswered questions,denial and irrelevant reasons.You choose to be own your own.

THEN SO BE IT.
I love you so much and it kills every pieces of me.
I regret everything about me.I regret every chances I gave.I regret for being soft.

Baby I Love You :(

I know I have been gone for sometime.But I wish you could just say it instead keeping it for someone :(

Its not about just love but you as my responsibility.yes,I know I ignore it sometimes.I'm sorry.
I forgive you for everything and anything that just happened.But then,I wish you could accept yourself.

I couldn't smile,laugh,think, and work like I used too :(

Its been awhile I stay away from blogging but it seems I started to feel more into blogging right now.As years pass by,everything change especially lifestyles,friendships and family.They come and go.Things weren't that easy as we age on.

I face lots of obstacle and lots of comfort which I have wasted few of my time.Still am not too late to start fresh 2014 and make out 2015.Come on Maxie,you can do this!

Its late and Goodnight :)
Happy Sabbath/Shabbat Shalom.

Expression is everything,Impression is anything.